Name It To Tame It - Identifying Emotions and Their Impact

Emotions. We all have them. How much do you think about the emotions you have? A lot if you are thinking about the emotion and what triggered it. But I am asking a different question. How much do you consider:

• What is/are the emotion(s) I am having?
• Where did it/they originate?
• What information is/are the emotion(s) sending me?
• What impact is it/they having on me?
• Is it/they holding me back or helping me move forward?

This is a simple exercise, but with a profound impact. If we do not navigate our emotions, then they will impact us in ways we may not desire. By naming the emotion, we can gain better insight into why we are having it and then be more intentional about what we do with it.

How to navigate emotions

This starts with being able to identify the emotion. There is a great example I like to use to describe this.

Think of an escalator. Now let's call it the "anger" escalator. When you first get on it going up, the emotion may be annoyance. Then it starts to escalate. Annoyance - Frustration - Anger - Livid - Rage! Notice that as you go up this "anger" escalator, the intensity of the emotion increases. Something else happens as well. As the intensity increases, our ability to navigate the emotion decreases. When you reach rage, you have reached a point where the emotion is taking over. Your choices will probably be less intentional and the consequences could be more severe.

Naming the emotion is the first step. Do you know what you are feeling. Here is a tool that could help:

Amazing how many different emotions there are! Each one has a specific place and purpose.

Energy and Information

Emotions impact your energy, and they give you information. How do emotions impact your energy? Usually they impact by either giving you energy or by draining your energy. How do they give you information? Because an emotion is a direct result of something you experience, either a thought or something you observe. Emotions are generated as a result of that thought or observation. The emotion is trying to tell you something, and the type of emotion will give you a clue as to the information your brain is trying to communicate to you.

Example

Have you ever walked into a place where you immediately felt uncomfortable or even threatened. Both of those are emotions. Both of those are telling you something is not right. Both of those are telling you that you might want to leave. The intensity is what is different. Feeling uncomfortable is one thing, feeling threatened is an entirely different matter. If you have ever experienced this, what did you do? I know when I have experienced these emotions, I quickly reconsider whether I should be in that place. If I feel threatened, I remove myself as rapidly as possible.

Good and Bad Emotions

I hear a lot of people talking about bad or negative emotions. But is that really true? Can emotions be bad or negative? Would you consider fear a bad or negative emotion? I can think of situations where fear is a positive emotional driver. If you were to step out on the street and then realize a vehicle was coming directly at you at high speed, what does that fear do for you? It gives you important information, a huge burst of adrenaline (energy), and kicks in your survival instincts to get out of the way. All of this happens in fractions of a second. Fear is closely tied to our survival brain.

I will not argue with you if you want to think of emotions as good or bad, negative or positive. I will ask that you go beyond just labeling the emotion that way. Why? Because emotions are the conduit our brains use to impress something on us. Is it important? Is it urgent? Maybe. But that is where you connect the emotional part of your brain with the rational part of your brain to make your best decisions.

 Emotional Literacy

If you want to understand your emotions and the impact they have on you, it is important to grow your emotional literacy. Think of entering a library where each emotion has its own book. Reading that emotion's book helps you to understand it, identify it when it is present, and learn how it uniquely impacts you. Then there are books that talk about more complex sets of emotions. These books focus on times when you have multiple emotions happening together. The more you learn about your emotions, the better you can navigate them.

Strengthening this skill of EQ allows you to gain more insight into yourself (self-awareness), and understand your behavior. This builds confidence and a sense of mastery. The more you can feel confident in navigating your emotions, the more intentional you can be with your choices. The better your choices, the better your outcomes.

Reflect

Think about times when you struggled to understand how you were feeling. Then think about times when you struggled to understand why you had a certain emotion or set of emotions. The more you can explore these situations, the more insight you can gain, and the more you can better manage emotions and be more intentional. This has a massive impact on very important parts of your life:

• Wellbeing
• Balance
• Effectiveness
• Relationships

We all want to have these success factors in a good place in our lives.

Do you want to feel overwhelmed less often?

Would you like to have a greater sense of control in times of escalated emotions?

Would you like to change the emotional reaction you have to certain situations or people?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then growing your emotional literacy is a path to greater success and satisfaction.

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 Copyright © 2023 EQFIT® - Author: Steven Goodner. All rights reserved. No portion of this material may be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law. For permissions contact: [email protected]